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Name Instructor Course Date Discovery through Technology Introduction The introduction of the essay establishes a discussion that informs the reader the general topic and what the paper tries to achieve. The hook is well placed and would involve the readers’ interest, and it makes it easier for the reader to understand the paper (Hogan 26). The introduction may be improved by making the hook the opening statement such as: Has technology impacted the world in any manner, regarding new discoveries? The themes or the arguments that the introduction tries to put across are not well organized. The introduction must establish the pros and cons by mentioning them so that the reader can have a specific direction that the following cons and pros will be discussed in the body. All the arguments brought up in the introduction are also addressed in the body of the essay only that they are scattered and not well organized that can give the reader easy time to identify and understand the explanations and evidence given (Moran 28). The Thesis The thesis statement is not clear and does not capture what the paper is arguing about. This is how it should be: I will argue that so many benefits are brought by technology. Among them include innovations in hospital labs, cell phone invention, easy transportation, and efficient learning. However, occasionally there is a disadvantage to it like abuse of cell phones and computers, and sleepless nights using the scientific devices. A thesis statement is a sentence or two that affirm the writer’s position regarding the specific issue to be discussed, the position that will direct the argument of the paper. It should appear in the
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